“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
Imagine you are building the foundation for a house using cinderblocks. As you work your way along, you find one is severely cracked and is starting to crumble. You realize that there is a place in the foundation where it would never be seen, “What’s the harm?”
Another quote by Oprah Winfrey:
“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.”
So, what’s the harm? The weakest link in the chain is the one that will fail when put under pressure. A few years down the road, when the homeowner finds cracks in the walls because of the failure of that block, the real harm will be revealed.
Ok, how about the harm it will do to you? If you get by with it now, you will do a little more next time, then more, and soon you won’t even recognize yourself because of your utter lack of integrity. It happened gradually. If you had been offered that drastic choice at the beginning, you would have been so flabbergasted you could never do it. But by sliding away a little at time, you could eventually end up in jail.
I found another quote on the subject that pinpoints the integrity issue directly for the ladies.
“Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.”
Have you ever seen an older woman who was beautiful in her bearing and was such a lady? We all want to keep our 18 year old body, but that is not to be. If physical beauty is all you have, you will in trouble later when the real you defines your life.
Use your time to build a foundation of integrity, and the other virtues Ms. Bisset spoke of. If you do, your beauty will last a lifetime.
When faced with an integrity choice, always think, not just of this moment, but think several moves ahead like a chess player. Ultimately, that is how you win the game of life.
The next quote is from the actor Peter Falk. He was suggested by my mother, June Gibson-Holbrook
“Sometimes I see my father in me.”
It can be really entertaining when you see yourself saying or doing something that reminds you of your father. My father’s name is Floyde, so if we find ourselves behaving like him, we call it a “Floyde-ian slip”.
While my father will be the first to tell you he is not perfect, that acknowledgement of his limitations is precisely what makes him such a great man. One thing I can say definitively, he was always there.
In spite of working lots of overtime to make ends meet for a large family, he was available every chance he got. This was not just a sense of duty, but because he really was proud of us, and he wanted to be there for every event of our lives.
So many fathers today are absent from the lives of their offspring. The children are left with no male role model, and the teaching and nurturing that only a father can give. A mother does her best, but something is missing that the mother can’t provide completely.
Enter the stepfather. I have long believed that family is less about blood than it is about relationship. Stepfathers CHOOSE their children. If the biological father is not around, a stepfather can fill this void in a child‘s life. The stepfather walks into the situation with eyes wide open. He WANTS to fill this need.
A quote from Steve Harvey
“All I knew growing up was that my father was married to and loved my momma, period. He worked hard, made some money, and put it on the dresser. She spent it on the family, and he went out and earned some more. He taught me the most about love.”
Fathers, please don’t be absent from your child’s life. Your child needs all the help and support you can give, and most of all, your time. Be there for them and make sure they have all the advantages a family unit can provide as a well rounded institution.
Dare to be the Dad. Now it’s up to you to live up to your responsibility. Mr. Falk‘s point of seeing your father in yourself, can be good or bad. Don’t blame your own father who wasn’t there for your negligence. This is you, now, making the manly choice. Be there for them. Nurture them so they don’t have to go through what you did.
One final quote from Gwyneth Paltrow
“My father, he was like the rock, the guy you went to with every problem.”