Juliette Lewis, Actress
“The worst thing you can do to a kid is tell them their dreams are invalid.”
I know a person who spent their childhood being told that almost anything they said or thought was “nonsense”. Just as frequently, she was told what she thought didn’t matter because, she was “just a girl”.
In this day and time, this type of treatment is considered completely outrageous. Back then it was tolerated in some circles. Many of us carry the scars of mental cruelty engendered by some of the harsher old fashioned attitudes.
Now past the age of 50, this wonderful lady still hears the voice of her dead father condemning everything she decides to do. The damage was so intense that he reaches from beyond the grave and still attempts to exert his will over every action.
His aim was to keep her under his thumb and maintain control over her entire life. He felt betrayed when she married, and interestingly enough she married someone who was almost the exact opposite of her father. Her husband actually BELIEVES she is a wonderful, talented person, and tells her so daily.
So now, what phobia have you reinforced in your child today? There seems to be two kinds of mental damage we can inflict on them. The first is cruel, intentional damage, but this is not as common as the unintentional harm caused by the unconscious forcing of our own phobias into the next generation.
The first is self explanatory, the second is much more stealthy. Without some self analysis, you don’t even recognize the long term damage you are causing.
Imagine a person who has had the aforementioned relationship with their own father, and then having a child with a similar personality. It could be very hard not to transfer the angst they feel for their father to their own child without even realizing it.
No parent is perfect. All have and will continue to make mistakes. The fewer mistakes made however, the better the child will turn out.
Spend some time taking a look in the mirror of your life and be honest. You could be doing unintentional damage to the hearts and minds of those you love the most. They are your most precious accomplishment and legacy. Please don’t sabotage their future.
An article on the Child Development Institute website by Erik Erikson is called “Stages of Social-Emotional Development”. A link will be included in the show notes for this excellent and concise analysis. Check it out!
Albert Einstein, A really smart guy.
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
I don’t know about you, but I would rather kiss my wife than drive. Trying to do both at the same time though, could be disastrous. I care enough about her to want to kiss her again later, and then there is the other thing of her well being and not being responsible for untimely deaths….. Hers, mine and even others in the car we may collide with.
According to Wikipedia, Distracted driving is the act of driving while engaged in other activities—such as looking after children, texting, talking on the phone or to a passenger, watching videos, eating, or reading—that take the driver’s attention away from the road. All distractions compromise the safety of the driver, passengers, bystanders and those in other vehicles.
According to the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, 5000 people are killed every year in crashes caused by distracted driving. Most of today’s focus on the issue involves the newest form of distraction: cell phone use. It seems every person you see is hunched over their phones, but not much talking is being done on them. It is mostly visual, and requires the eyes of the user to be on the screen a lot of the time.
A friend was attempting to order a pizza recently at work, but was having a problem getting the website on his phone. When he asked me about another site, I asked him if he had called their phone number. He looked shocked and said it had never occurred to him.
Cell phones are rarely used for phone calls anymore. They are a complete communications and entertainment device, and it is fully capable of letting you conduct business as well. The same friend mentioned earlier went on a 15 minute break, and before he came back, had completed and filed both his federal and state tax returns. All on his phone.
All of this power in your hands makes it hard to ignore when driving. When that little tone comes out of the phone, not picking it up takes a lot of will power.
If you have a 30 minute commute, there are very few things that could be so urgent that you can’t wait until you arrive at your destination to check your messages. If you are afraid of some emergency, or simply can’t stand it, pull off in a parking lot somewhere and indulge your obsession for connectivity in a safe place.
Don’t think it could never happen to you. Your life, those you love, and the others you could kill or maim in your self absorbed obsession are in peril. Live to kiss another day.
The show notes for this episode, #29 will include links to the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety and other sites with helpful info on distracted driving. As far as the kissing goes, you are on your own!
Go to the National Safety Council’s website and download a Free Cell Phone Policy Kit to make it easier to formulate a safe cell phone usage plan for your workplace.